Name change during adoption

So I though I got the message when I went to the PRIDE classes and we talked about think twice before changing the child’s first name. Well, at least that was what I thought. I was surprise when Spidey did not agree to changing his last name.  He said he did not like ours and he wanted to keep his.  Somehow in our classes, I understood that his name was what defined him and that was why changes are difficult.  When I went to my class I completely connected with the fact about your name defining you  as I was also challenge to change my name when I became a citizen and when I got married.  Somehow I did not translate that to the attachment my son had to his full name, his first, middle and last name.  Yes, now that I think about it I ask my self, didn’t you go to school? didn’t you said you could relate? didn’t you said you had a problem changing your last name? Well, good for you for relating to it now relate to your son and to him having another loss, his last name.  Do you think he will suffer another loss, now his identity? how would you feel about it? I know how I will feel about it! I cried as an adult woman when some official wanted to change my name during my citizenship and I felt helpless, cornered and I didn’t like that name.  Wow!! that is the reason you had to live those moments little girl, that is the reason you had to fight for it, now go ahead and defend your son from this situation.

What can I can say now?  We did changed my sons last name but we talked to him for months and prepared him to accept his new family name.  We explained to him that it is a way for us to celebrate becoming a family, becoming a unity, a forever family.  Well what I did was to get my son as involved as possible and as informed as he could be.  Our adoption finalized in December 2013 and he was just baptize last month.  Our son decided if he wanted to keep his first and middle name and he picked his new name.  His new name is lovely and is meant for him.  I know I love it.  At the end it was our son’s decision and it will have a great story to go with it.

We love our son, he has made us grow and learn in ways I would have never imagine.  We always try to prepare as much as we can but Spidey turns our world upside down in a second defying all the rules and for that we love him, without that we would still be the same.  Gotta love it.

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5 great things

After almost three weeks living together, I have to say it has been a roller-coaster ride. Today I feel wonderful, content, at peace, and definitely where I should be.

This is my top 5 great things that we have accomplished:
1. Spidey stopped sitting at the teacher’s desk, he is now sitting with other kids during the class.
2. Spidey got the bath, brush your teeth, go to bed, read, and go to sleep routine down.
3. Spidey has gotten green cards from school almost everyday.
4. Spidey colored at school using colors, before he will only use black.
5. Spidey is having less trouble finishing his homework.

I have to admire my husbands patience and thank him for being my rock.

PRIDE Classes

We have done some of the work around the house, we still need to straighten up the garage and lock up the buckets of paint, grass seeds, fertilizer, etc.  Now, we have to schedule training classes.  The Parent Resource Information Development Education training are nine (3 hour) sessions, yes 27 hours!  Also we have to take a First Aid and CPR class which is usually a Saturday 4 hour session.  We really want to  complete this training before the next visit on February 4th, however; it looks like a lot needs to get done.  So, what are we suppose to learn in the PRIDE sessions? one of the most important session is to understand the Foster Care regulations.  Once a child gets placed in a home (for foster or adoption), the child is protected by these regulations to ensure his/her well-being.  Things you would do with your nephews while baby sitting are not allowed.   I still do not know all of the details of the regulations (this is probably why we need to attend), I heard they are pretty strict and that the best thing to do is to keep your social worker informed. 

Please make sure the answer the poll before you leave, thank you!

VERSION EN ESPANOL

Hemos hecho algunos de las cosas en la casa, todavía tenemos que arreglar la cochera y guardar bajo llave a los botes de pintura, bolsas semillas de pasto, fertilizantes, etc.  Ahora, tenemos que programar las clases de formación.   El PRIDE son clases de formacion que son nueve sesiones de tres horas cada una, sí 27 horas!  También tenemos que tomar una clase de Primeros Auxilios y Resucitacion, que suele ser un sábado por 4 horas.  Tenemos muchas ganas de completar esta formación antes de la próxima visita que es el 4 de febrero, sin embargo, parece que queda mucho que hacer.  Entonces, ¿qué se supone vamos a aprender en las sesiones de PRIDE? una de las sesiónes más importante es entender los reglamentos de “Foster Care”.  Una vez que un niño se coloca en una casa (por adopción o foster), el bienestar del niño está protegido por estos reglamentos.  Algunas de las cosas que usted haría con sus sobrinos mientras los cuida no están permitidos.  Todavía no conocemos todos los detalles de la reglamentación (probablemente por eso tenemos que asistir), he oído que son bastante estrictos y que lo mejor quese  puede hacer es mantener informado/a a su trabajador social.