Keep on believing… Adoption rocks!

My Mom reminded me to keep blogging.  She said you wont remember those magical moments that happen every day.  So here I am, back again trying to inspire you to be patient, to wait whatever you have to wait, to endure whatever you have to endure.  Just think that your child is also waiting.  Remember that it has already been determined that he will be yours, but you have to keep on trying, preparing and waiting.  Remember that this child has been probably waiting for a longer time for a family, that has endured some hard situations and probably has had to deal with loss at a very young age.  Doesn’t that make your wait, sadness and anxiety almost nothing?  I know that it is really easy to say it, then to live it and to be in that moment.  Just believe me, it is all worth it!  and if you are still waiting for your child your wait will soon be over.

My husband and I went to a lot of the adoption training classes provided by our county and I still was so naive and clueless about attachment/bonding.  I made a lot of mistakes, but worked hard at bonding with my child.  I have to say that as a family we worked on it a LOT, our little one too.  We are at a stable place now but this relationships is something we will work on forever.  Sometimes he calls me Mama and that makes my day.  I love him and want to give him a stable family, lots of love, and fun.  We are all so happy for our immediate summer break!  Gotta love it.

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Name change during adoption

So I though I got the message when I went to the PRIDE classes and we talked about think twice before changing the child’s first name. Well, at least that was what I thought. I was surprise when Spidey did not agree to changing his last name.  He said he did not like ours and he wanted to keep his.  Somehow in our classes, I understood that his name was what defined him and that was why changes are difficult.  When I went to my class I completely connected with the fact about your name defining you  as I was also challenge to change my name when I became a citizen and when I got married.  Somehow I did not translate that to the attachment my son had to his full name, his first, middle and last name.  Yes, now that I think about it I ask my self, didn’t you go to school? didn’t you said you could relate? didn’t you said you had a problem changing your last name? Well, good for you for relating to it now relate to your son and to him having another loss, his last name.  Do you think he will suffer another loss, now his identity? how would you feel about it? I know how I will feel about it! I cried as an adult woman when some official wanted to change my name during my citizenship and I felt helpless, cornered and I didn’t like that name.  Wow!! that is the reason you had to live those moments little girl, that is the reason you had to fight for it, now go ahead and defend your son from this situation.

What can I can say now?  We did changed my sons last name but we talked to him for months and prepared him to accept his new family name.  We explained to him that it is a way for us to celebrate becoming a family, becoming a unity, a forever family.  Well what I did was to get my son as involved as possible and as informed as he could be.  Our adoption finalized in December 2013 and he was just baptize last month.  Our son decided if he wanted to keep his first and middle name and he picked his new name.  His new name is lovely and is meant for him.  I know I love it.  At the end it was our son’s decision and it will have a great story to go with it.

We love our son, he has made us grow and learn in ways I would have never imagine.  We always try to prepare as much as we can but Spidey turns our world upside down in a second defying all the rules and for that we love him, without that we would still be the same.  Gotta love it.

5 great things

After almost three weeks living together, I have to say it has been a roller-coaster ride. Today I feel wonderful, content, at peace, and definitely where I should be.

This is my top 5 great things that we have accomplished:
1. Spidey stopped sitting at the teacher’s desk, he is now sitting with other kids during the class.
2. Spidey got the bath, brush your teeth, go to bed, read, and go to sleep routine down.
3. Spidey has gotten green cards from school almost everyday.
4. Spidey colored at school using colors, before he will only use black.
5. Spidey is having less trouble finishing his homework.

I have to admire my husbands patience and thank him for being my rock.

Prayer for a stranger

This morning I took my time to get out of bed, took a long shower and got dress to go to the Spa, oh what a life.  I get to the spa on time, relaxed, changed into a warm bathrobe and slipper and walk down the hall to the relaxation room.  I sit in a comfy sofa, started sipping chamomile tea and soaking my feet in a Eucalyptus infuse warm water. As I am taking my first sip I say to my self, look at this lady see how lucky your are, see how fortunate you are, give thanks that you can enjoy a day like today and have no worries. Tea smelled delicious and the warm water in my feet felt so relaxing.  I close my eyes to give thanks and hear Tari saying hello to me.

Tari is a happy-go-lucky lady that always talks to me with so much love, you know the way a mom talks to you, you can tell she opens up her heart.  There she is standing next to me with a big smile, her shiny curly black hair and warm dark eyes.  She asks me how am I doing she remembers our conversation from more than a month ago with details.  We then start talking about how she is doing and life is not looking that great for her.

Tari’s husband has cancer and had an emergency surgery last week, he is back home and starting radiation again.  My dear friend is in need of prayers, today she inspired me to write this blog and ask for your prayers.  She is learning how to continue working while taking care of her husband at the same time she sees him getting weaker.  Today she is thinking of cutting her hair, she doesn’t want to spend 30 minutes on her hair every morning she wants to spend that time with him.  She is trying to simplify her life to spend the time she has with her husband and the ones she loves.

So today I ask you to pray for a stranger, for his and his family well-being.  Send all your love as your read this blog.  Today, again God was there reminding me of how fortunate I am and how we all can connect through prayer.

prayer..

Adoption – Expecting Mother Prayer

A couple of days ago my husband went through our storage room.  We have a small storage room that is located under the stairs; we called it the Magic Room.  When we moved in, two years ago, we used this room to store everything we did not have a specific place to go, and this is why it got the name.  In our “Magic Room” you can find everything.  After my husband cleaned, he left a couple of things for me to look at just lying there in the middle of the hallway.  You probably know that for men it is very difficult to actually take out the trash, so it was there for a couple days until this morning. 

This morning while coming down the stairs, I felt I had looked at all those items enough.  So I decided to take a look before we went to work.  I finished going through most of it, most of it went to the trash and I left a couple of rabbit books and hallmark cards on top of a box before we left.  This evening after coming back from work, I decided to go over the rest of the items.  I had a wonderful surprise, I don’t remember where did I get this the first time, or if this is actually the first time I’m looking at this little book.  This little book is title “Blessing the Child Within”, Prayers for Expectant Mothers.

I though what a special gift in such a special moment in our life’s, makes me wonder how God knows exactly what we need, we just need to learn how to listen.  I am going to share the first one with you with a small modification.

BLESSING THE CHILD WITHIN

Prayers for Expectant Mothers

Kass P. Dotterweich

“My Mother Creed”

I believe in you, Almighty God.
I believe in me.
I believe my love for this child is imperfect.
I believe your love is perfect.
I believe my wisdom as a parent is limited.
I believe your wisdom is infinite.
I believe my joy in this new life issues forth from my human nature.
I believe your joy explodes from your divinity.
I believe I give this child love.
I believe you give this child life.

Amen.

ESPANOL

Hace un par de días, mi esposo empezo a limpiar nuestro closet. Tenemos un pequeño closet que se encuentra debajo de las escaleras, lo llamamos el cuarto Magico.  Cuando nos mudamos, hace dos años, utilizamos este espacio para almacenar todo lo que no tenía un lugar específico a donde ir, y es por esto qué tiene el nombre.  En nuestro “Cuarto Magico” se puede encontrar de todo.  Después de limpiar, Joel dejó un par de cosas tiradas allí en medio del pasillo. Ustedes probablemente sabe que para los hombres es muy difícil ir a tirar la basura, es por eso que estaba allí por días hasta esta mañana.
Esta mañana mientras bajaba las escaleras, sentí que ya habia visto esas cosas por muchos dias. Así que decidí echar un vistazo antes de ir a trabajar.  Revisé la mayor parte, casi todo se fue a la basura y solo un par de libros sobre conejos y unas tarjetas no tire y las puse sobre una caja antes de salir.  Esta tarde después de regresar del trabajo, decidí revisar el resto de las cosas.  Me encontre con una sorpresa maravillosa, no recuerdo donde obtuve esto la primera vez, o si es realmente esta la primera vez que estoy viendo este pequeño libro.  Este librito se títula “Bendición del Niño Dentro”, Oraciones para las mujeres embarazadas.
Pensé que es un regalo especial en un momento tan especial en nuestra vida, lo que hace que me pregunte cómo Dios sabe exactamente lo que necesitamos, sólo tenemos que aprender a escuchar.  Voy a compartir una de las oraciones con ustedes.

BENDICIÓN DEL NIÑO DENTRO
Oraciones para las mujeres embarazadas
Kass P. Dotterweich
“Credo de Madre”
Creo en ti, Dios Todopoderoso.
Creo en mí.
Creo que mi amor por este niño es imperfecto.
Creo que tu amor es perfecto.
Creo que mi sabiduría como padre es limitada.
Creo que tu sabiduría es infinita.
Creo que mi gozo en esta vida nueva viene de mi naturaleza humana.
Creo que tu gozo sale de tu divinidad.
Creo que le doy amor a este niño.
Creo que tu le vas a dar la vida.
Amén.