210 days and counting

We just got approved as potential adoptive parents this past December.  Now, close to the end of July this is getting too hard.  I enjoyed spending time with my husband, my parents, my sisters and I am ready to receive the news that a little one might be our potential match.

Sometimes I wonder, what did we put in that questionnaire to not be a match to anyone?  It must be that the waiting process is hard.  I have to understand that the child that will be the right match for us and that we can help will come at the right time.

This summer we participated in an event organized by our county to meet children that are awaiting adoption.  At the event there were more than 200 adoptive families and only  25 adoptive children groups.  The issue for us is that we are looking for one child and not a group of children.  The event for the most part was very well-organized and fun.  The drive back home turned out to be sad, not seeing our selves as capable of taking care of more than one child limited our options.  A long drive around town (in the passenger seat) helped to clear my mind.  I guess this is all just part of the process and we have to keep a positive attitude and hang in there.

Prayer for a stranger

This morning I took my time to get out of bed, took a long shower and got dress to go to the Spa, oh what a life.  I get to the spa on time, relaxed, changed into a warm bathrobe and slipper and walk down the hall to the relaxation room.  I sit in a comfy sofa, started sipping chamomile tea and soaking my feet in a Eucalyptus infuse warm water. As I am taking my first sip I say to my self, look at this lady see how lucky your are, see how fortunate you are, give thanks that you can enjoy a day like today and have no worries. Tea smelled delicious and the warm water in my feet felt so relaxing.  I close my eyes to give thanks and hear Tari saying hello to me.

Tari is a happy-go-lucky lady that always talks to me with so much love, you know the way a mom talks to you, you can tell she opens up her heart.  There she is standing next to me with a big smile, her shiny curly black hair and warm dark eyes.  She asks me how am I doing she remembers our conversation from more than a month ago with details.  We then start talking about how she is doing and life is not looking that great for her.

Tari’s husband has cancer and had an emergency surgery last week, he is back home and starting radiation again.  My dear friend is in need of prayers, today she inspired me to write this blog and ask for your prayers.  She is learning how to continue working while taking care of her husband at the same time she sees him getting weaker.  Today she is thinking of cutting her hair, she doesn’t want to spend 30 minutes on her hair every morning she wants to spend that time with him.  She is trying to simplify her life to spend the time she has with her husband and the ones she loves.

So today I ask you to pray for a stranger, for his and his family well-being.  Send all your love as your read this blog.  Today, again God was there reminding me of how fortunate I am and how we all can connect through prayer.

prayer..

The adoption countdown continues…One month down.

We got approved as potential adoptive parents December 7th, 2011, this Sunday it was our one month anniversary.  My Mom laughed when I told her that we were celebrating our one month anniversary.  I am thinking, I need to keep some excitement while we wait for the phone to ring with awesome news and we decided to make it an anniversary.

When the social worker came to perform the last visit, she told us the average wait time for placement was between 4 to 6 months.  This means we only have 5 more months to go, in the mean time we made some changes to our pantry, wahoo!(win-win).  We have no idea of how much free time we will have once the placement activities begin, so I am taking advantage of that.

It is funny how my life has changed, from some years ago when I was trying to become pregnant to today when we await a child placement for adoption.  This process has been very hard for me, it has disturbed all my feelings and beliefs to the bone.  It has questioned my beliefs to a degree that I stopped praying and talking to God.  However, today I’m happy.  I’m happy that God was there waiting for me to be ready to make my self whole again, it is amazing!  Today I learned that all my believes are certain, that my spirituality makes sense and God is noble.

So while we wait I am finding my way back to God and my beliefs, I love it.

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Waiting Game … … tic toc tic toc

On her last visit, the social worker PROMISED that we should be approved today, for the past weeks I kept checking the mail expecting to find a letter from CPS telling us that we are approved as adoptive parents and that we are going into the Parents Pool.  We have not received this letter!  The waiting continues…  We can’t wait to swim in the pool with all the other fortunate Parents, please let it be tomorrow.

I feel that we are as ready as we will ever be!  Event though after we get approved the average waiting time for a placement is 6 months,  I still can’t wait to know that we have officially become part of the pool.  This will be such a big milestone.

The six month wait means that; we have six months to:

1.Go to the movies every Friday after work,

2. Work late every workday,

3. Get out bed late on the weekends,

4. Go to school after working all day,

5. Not cook/prepare breakfast every morning,

6. Go out-of-town on a last-minute trip (like Las Vegas),

7. Commute to work everyday,

8. Go to bed later every school night,

9. Watch what we want on TV

10. Get all of my husbands attention

So even when more waiting is in our future, there a lot of things I can enjoy end cherish until then.

Adoption Movies!!

If there is something my husband and I enjoy, that is going to the movies. Lately there have been a couple of movies we watch that surprise us due to their adoption content. “I loved them”.  If you feel you are going through the adoption process and need some inspiration to give you patience and strength I recommend these movies.

Kung Fu Panda 2:

Po (the Panda) is The Dragon Warrior and keeps protecting the Valley of Peace with his friends, The Fabulous Five.  There is a new villain that plans to use an unstoppable weapon to conquer China and destroy kung fu.  Po looks to his past and wonders why he looks so different from his Dad, wants to know the story of his of his adoption, and learns that there is no secret powers or recipe.  The secret is belive in yourself and how great you are. I enjoyed this movie, you also get understand the sacrifice of the Panda mother and difficulty of her decision for Po’s safety.  Jack Black is the voice of Po.

Paul Giamatti is “Mike Flaherty” a middle class attorney and part-time wrestling coach at the local highschool.  In order to keep his practice from going under he acts as the legal caretaker of an elderly client, little does he knows the impact this decision will have in his near future.  He wants to use this caretaker business as a loophole to keep his practice.  A highschool student ask him for a place to stay, this kid turns is his client’s troubled grandson.  Mike forms a strong bond with the teenager due to their love of wrestling, the Mom is always loving and understanding.  You see the teenage boy changing before your eyes, of course there is conflict and arguments Mike and his wife give him a real family.  After a while the kids mother shows up.  She wants to get her son back and brings up to the surface all the issues with regards to her father’s housing and money situation.  This movie feels like a “real life” story, I truly enjoyed Paul Giamatti’s acting.

Martian Child

John Cusack is a widow science fiction writer who is introduce this special kid by a friend that is the social worker at the childcare facility.  The writer believes the child acts strangely, the child believes he is from the Red Planet, to live with all his hardship.  John Cusack character understands the child and instantly connect.  He is able to get him to come out of the box by getting to down to his level and not question his story.  Through the movie you see how the child and writer bond and connect, not perfect all the time but one that lasts and brings stability and love to both.

Home Study visit

After taking a long break from all the adoption paperwork we are finally back on-track.  During the month of October we had our last home visit and if everything goes according to schedule we  are on track for approval by the end of November.  Two weeks earlier I had a 2.5 hrs interview with our adoption social worker, a week later my husband had his interview.  Now we have this form we need to fill out before our home visit.  To fill out this form we had to sit down a couple of times and do some research on the different topics before our home visit.  The topics of this form are Health, Behavioral, Developmental and Background issues, prenatal drug exposure and adoption openness.

The questionnaire brings really interesting topics to light, the biological parents drugs use, mental health, and the child’s behavior, health and disabilities.  Believe me going through the  list was difficult and we tried to make the most informed decision while also thinking of what we are able handle.  This is hard, we will be completely new to parenthood and having to decide what we THINK we might be able to handle was a difficult task.  Once the social worker went over the form with us we made a couple of changes with her help, knowledge and explanations.

Now we await, we should go into the potential parents pool in December and then the average wait time is between six to four months.  Now we have to prepare and have a plan for the placement process, we also have to check our benefits.