Baptism MIRACLE “An epiphany”

My husband, son and I became a legal family December, 2013 and celebrated our son’s baptism May, 2014.  So now that we have done the baptism I have some time to breath and write a short story.  I love my younger sister, she is so organized and such a pro at decorating and having great party ideas that of course she helped me with the preparations for our son’s baptism.  One of the days before the baptism I went to visit my sister, her and her daughter open up the door and smiled as they welcome me into their house.  As I crossed the doorway I get this lovely smell of roses, the smell is so intense I look for the fresh flowers.  Somehow today, she did not have fresh-cut roses in the base that sits on top her dining room table.  I did not think much of it and thought the smell was coming from her rose bushes.  We started talking about the baptism,the decorations, the baptism favors.  I told her this week I have worked on the rosaries and after much trial and error I got it.  I showed her a sampled I brought with me and she loved it.  I didn’t tell my sister that while I am sitting in my little office making these rosaries I keep thinking of my grandma, she past away in ’97 and I miss her.  We continued talking as her daughter, now 1-year-old, walks around the house grabbing everything in her path.  We just make sure to keep an eye on her between the two of us.  Well the little one got to my sister’s bible and pull out a little piece of paper and brought it to me.  I open the small piece of paper and it was my grandmother’s handwriting, until this moment I did not know my sister had my grandma’s bible.  I said look at this is grandma’s handwriting, it says Ephesians 4: 5-6.  Look it up, our grandma is trying to tell us something.  My sister with disbelieve gets the bible and starts to read just to please me.  That is why I love her.  “There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, One god and Father of all”.  Wow! my skin just got goosebumps.  I said Grandma knows we are baptizing our children and she is happy about it.  Now I know that my grandma was really with me while I was making those rosaries, that she knows my son and she is with us in spirit.

I had an epiphany as I am writing this blog, I guess I was being very self-centered with my son’s baptism and with my spiritual relationship with my grandma that I missed the big picture.  I am glad I am doing this post now.  I am now for another time re-reading “There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, One God and Father of all”, wow! Can you believe that? We just have to keep on working on our faith, God is here, God is real!  This message that I still believe my grandma sent us, is amazing.  To think that so many years ago she wrote that piece of paper while studying the bible so that it could there ready for her to guide my nice to deliver the message to us.  This is all God’s doing, I have to keep on working on my family’s spiritual journey and mine.  Gotta love it!  The big guy never seizes to amaze me, that was a lot of work and planning for this little person. I love you.

Keep on believing… Adoption rocks!

My Mom reminded me to keep blogging.  She said you wont remember those magical moments that happen every day.  So here I am, back again trying to inspire you to be patient, to wait whatever you have to wait, to endure whatever you have to endure.  Just think that your child is also waiting.  Remember that it has already been determined that he will be yours, but you have to keep on trying, preparing and waiting.  Remember that this child has been probably waiting for a longer time for a family, that has endured some hard situations and probably has had to deal with loss at a very young age.  Doesn’t that make your wait, sadness and anxiety almost nothing?  I know that it is really easy to say it, then to live it and to be in that moment.  Just believe me, it is all worth it!  and if you are still waiting for your child your wait will soon be over.

My husband and I went to a lot of the adoption training classes provided by our county and I still was so naive and clueless about attachment/bonding.  I made a lot of mistakes, but worked hard at bonding with my child.  I have to say that as a family we worked on it a LOT, our little one too.  We are at a stable place now but this relationships is something we will work on forever.  Sometimes he calls me Mama and that makes my day.  I love him and want to give him a stable family, lots of love, and fun.  We are all so happy for our immediate summer break!  Gotta love it.

Name change during adoption

So I though I got the message when I went to the PRIDE classes and we talked about think twice before changing the child’s first name. Well, at least that was what I thought. I was surprise when Spidey did not agree to changing his last name.  He said he did not like ours and he wanted to keep his.  Somehow in our classes, I understood that his name was what defined him and that was why changes are difficult.  When I went to my class I completely connected with the fact about your name defining you  as I was also challenge to change my name when I became a citizen and when I got married.  Somehow I did not translate that to the attachment my son had to his full name, his first, middle and last name.  Yes, now that I think about it I ask my self, didn’t you go to school? didn’t you said you could relate? didn’t you said you had a problem changing your last name? Well, good for you for relating to it now relate to your son and to him having another loss, his last name.  Do you think he will suffer another loss, now his identity? how would you feel about it? I know how I will feel about it! I cried as an adult woman when some official wanted to change my name during my citizenship and I felt helpless, cornered and I didn’t like that name.  Wow!! that is the reason you had to live those moments little girl, that is the reason you had to fight for it, now go ahead and defend your son from this situation.

What can I can say now?  We did changed my sons last name but we talked to him for months and prepared him to accept his new family name.  We explained to him that it is a way for us to celebrate becoming a family, becoming a unity, a forever family.  Well what I did was to get my son as involved as possible and as informed as he could be.  Our adoption finalized in December 2013 and he was just baptize last month.  Our son decided if he wanted to keep his first and middle name and he picked his new name.  His new name is lovely and is meant for him.  I know I love it.  At the end it was our son’s decision and it will have a great story to go with it.

We love our son, he has made us grow and learn in ways I would have never imagine.  We always try to prepare as much as we can but Spidey turns our world upside down in a second defying all the rules and for that we love him, without that we would still be the same.  Gotta love it.

5 great things

After almost three weeks living together, I have to say it has been a roller-coaster ride. Today I feel wonderful, content, at peace, and definitely where I should be.

This is my top 5 great things that we have accomplished:
1. Spidey stopped sitting at the teacher’s desk, he is now sitting with other kids during the class.
2. Spidey got the bath, brush your teeth, go to bed, read, and go to sleep routine down.
3. Spidey has gotten green cards from school almost everyday.
4. Spidey colored at school using colors, before he will only use black.
5. Spidey is having less trouble finishing his homework.

I have to admire my husbands patience and thank him for being my rock.

We stopped counting!!

I lost my job in December, after some pretty stressful months I was actually glad to be out of that stressful situation.  While taking the time to relax and trying to find another job, my husband got a call from the County Social Worker.  She said you have been matched with a child and this is the general information for him.  Are you interested in doing the telling? What is the telling? During the telling we found out about this boy’s (Spidey) family history, the trauma he has gone through, and his health history among other things.

Well we where pretty overwhelm, it was a lot take in, but we moved forward with meeting Spidey.  We made this decision on a Thursday morning of the first week on my new job and we had to get his room ready and create a photo album of our story. We did everything over the weekend and turn the album back to the social worker Monday morning.  We met Spidey Thursday afternoon, he was pretty shy.  We visited him at his foster Mom’s home for the next month for almost every day and he spent some weekends with us.

He officially move in with us Saturday March 2nd, 2013.  I can’t believe we have waited over 2 years.  Today those 2 years seem like nothing.  Our countdown ended, now we are counting on the days we are spending together and counting down the days to our first trip to Disneyland.

Ancestry

Beatriz Moreno foto

About one month or so ago I was watching a show on TV “Who do you think you are?” (actually I taped the entire season because the show aired on Fridays which is Movie night) about celebrities finding their ancestors, after watching the Rashida Jones and Paula Deen episode I got the bug. Yes, I did a search using ancestry.com….oh my! the first results where surprising so I got an account. I have worked on my Dad’s side of the family. I have been able to go back to 1800 for sure, and I might have a link all the way back too 1700 but I have not confirmed that the link is correct.

As I started doing this research I found information of my grandpa crossing the border in the 1920′s and the best thing was that they had pictures. So I was able to see pictures of my grandpa when he was in 17, 19, 20, and older. Then I looked into my grandma and found a picture of her when she was 17 (she looked so gorgeous) and also a couple of her when she was 9, she looked so cute as a little girl. Through reviewing marriage licences, birth certificates and baptism documents I was able to go back to at least 4 generations. Through this process I learned that my grandmother lived in the US in the 1920′s and worked as a seamstress, and that she went to high school in the US. Now things are coming into place, this is why my Grandma was such a great dressmaker and why she was bilingual, she spoke perfect english but I just never wondered why or how?

Now my Dad’s birthday is coming up and with Ancestry.com you can also create your own family album, of course for $$, so I am planning to do as much research as I can to have it done for his birthday. I also have to mention that I have used “FamilySearch.org” a free website that has tons of information, it takes some time to find it but is great. I love that someone created this site.

While doing all of these searches and creating this gift for my Dad I could not help but think that this is exactly what I should when a child is places with us for adoption. At least I will try to capture as much information as possible to be able to perform a search in the future or document an album that could be shared with the child when the time is right. I think this is even a good idea for all parents to leave a bit of history about their family ancestors to their children. The best part are the tools that are available today, they are at your fingertips.

210 days and counting

We just got approved as potential adoptive parents this past December.  Now, close to the end of July this is getting too hard.  I enjoyed spending time with my husband, my parents, my sisters and I am ready to receive the news that a little one might be our potential match.

Sometimes I wonder, what did we put in that questionnaire to not be a match to anyone?  It must be that the waiting process is hard.  I have to understand that the child that will be the right match for us and that we can help will come at the right time.

This summer we participated in an event organized by our county to meet children that are awaiting adoption.  At the event there were more than 200 adoptive families and only  25 adoptive children groups.  The issue for us is that we are looking for one child and not a group of children.  The event for the most part was very well-organized and fun.  The drive back home turned out to be sad, not seeing our selves as capable of taking care of more than one child limited our options.  A long drive around town (in the passenger seat) helped to clear my mind.  I guess this is all just part of the process and we have to keep a positive attitude and hang in there.